yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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