dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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