umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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