I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
