i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
