I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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