thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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