Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize