IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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