No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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