so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you had me at cake vodka
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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