used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
