STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
