you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
