dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize