Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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