I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
