So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Even my vagina gasped.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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