what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
