I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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