my mouth tastes like poor choices
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
