you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
