Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
