Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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