Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i love accidental penises.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
