Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
