apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
