She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
