Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
