four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
