Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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