actually, I'm a sock model
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
