Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
