The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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