If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I enjoy the company of your penis
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