Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Operation Purity has been aborted
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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