you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
