WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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