The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
