is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
