I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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