im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
