also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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