that's an acceptable place to lick
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
