his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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