I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
