I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
