Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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