oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
