Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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