Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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