You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
