Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
