I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize