dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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