Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
