why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
