return my video game
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
