i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
