he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize