im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
