so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
