Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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