Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
