My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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